I have the hope that one day I will depart from this cursed ball of dirt and be united with You, and You will be wonderful. I will really get to KNOW You, and finally I will see how delightful and beautiful your heart is without the blinders of my temporal reality. It will no longer be a fight of faith and make-myself-believe, I will no longer have to deny myself, I will no longer have an obsessive compulsive tendency of pleasing self, no more distraction and emotions that put three words on repeat so loud in my head that I cannot hear anything else. "Lord, I say I want to know You more, Yet I don't fully understand what it is to know You more. I want to be attracted to you and love you, yet how? On that day I will no longer have this problem, I will be full of affection, an affection that does not fade, I will have a love for You that is not easily wounded and suffocated by misunderstandings. As I am writing this I don't feel You within me, my faith is blind, I can't truly know that I know, but one day Your presence and life will fill me. "As of now my earthly flesh could not handle your glory, but you will give me a glorified body that can be filled with your fullness. When I see You I will be like You. Lord, it is like an arranged marriage and I still have not gotten to see the bride; my imagination is failing and I am not feeling affection for the one I have yet to see. But one day I will see You, and You will be so much more then I could ever want or ask for, Your love will be sweet and your face will be lovely. We will talk to each other as friends, we will never be able to get enough of each other, and no one will understand me more. "Lord, you will be full of affirmation, overflowing with wisdom and insight; your delight in me will be felt. Oh the bliss of quality time and deep meaningful conversations with those I love here on earth. Oh Lord how much better, how much more life-giving, stimulating, exciting, joyous, uplifting and pleasureful will be my conversations with You! Lord I will no longer struggle with doubts or misconceptions, for I will see You as You are. I will never be able to get enough of You, nothing will be more delightful then spending time with You, and I will have all of eternity to do such! Lord, right now I want relationship, but I don't fully understand what this is since I often can't feel You, Hear You or See You. LORD I DON"T BELONG ON THIS EARTH! Jesus You are my true love and You died for me that I could be with You forever. Jesus You love me and want me to be with You; You look forward to this time! Jesus You have prepared a place for me and You cannot wait to get to show it to me and share in my delight and joy. Jesus, You are the creator of music--what could be more delightful then hearing You play me a song that You wrote for me! Oh and what a honor to share a love song I wrote for You, and see the heart- felt delight on Your face, and hear your thoughtful words of affirmation. What could be more fun then walking with You in the beauty of nature, getting to express to how much I love it and how beautiful it is and then hearing You share how you thought it up and why you made it like You did. I will be ever learning about the fullness of Your glory. I will gladly spend my time with You, treasuring every moment" |
